If player embed isn’t working click this button:
An unofficial partial list of reasons:
- The things that are weird, messy, broken in me needed a place to live
- There needed to be something important in my life that I could dedicate myself to that was not my job
- My brain had been shaped by crisis response for over a decade rendering me unable to create much, stuck in constant rapid-response
- I needed to know what it was like to do something completely, intensely, for myself
- Could I work hard at something that no one was asking me to do?
- My father died in 2019 after acquiring home studio recording equipment and before he was able to record his songs and I think I was subconsciously motivated by this
- I always loved singing and playing guitar and I needed to find out if I could do these well if I applied myself
- I had lost so many things I loved from 2018-2020 and music was the way I could process this
- Making art / being creative is an inherently human activity — how to become fully human if we do not make time for this?
- Burnout from organizing meant that nothing made sense anymore, my self unraveled beyond recognition and it needed to be rebuilt through something else
- The grueling hours of practicing, recording, and mixing my songs where I had to listen to my voice, my work, over and over and over again ended up being a mirror held up to myself that required self-acceptance or bust
- These songs are a goodbye to a way of being, a past self and hope for future change. These songs are a spell to find myself again. I think it’s already working.